Pete the One Legged Pigeon

In an old burned out building on Twenty Ninth Street
Lives a one legged pigeon whose friends call him Pete
He flies faster than any other pigeon known to man
Trouble only comes when he tries to land
Pete has grown mean over the past several years
Being the one-legged butt of the jokes of his peers
His heart has hardened up like a grumpy old man
But on Twenty Ninth Street one legged Pete still stands.
He’s a little slanted left in his cockeyed stance
Wearing his one legged pair of pink pigeon pants
As the others fly by yelling mean obscenities
Like “Hey one legged ninja where’s your other knee”

To these comments Pete will always reply
“I may have one leg but I can certainly fly
Better than you or your bald headed granny
Bring it on two legs I’ll kick your little fanny”
But no one ever races him they just point and they laugh
At his unsightly one-legged pink panted aircraft
He’s gone completely untested in his speed flying glory
High on Twenty Ninth Street on the twenty ninth story

One night there was trouble in twenty ninth street land
Up on to the roof came a flock of toucans
Now the toucan is an evil bird, strong and awfully mean
They kidnapped all the babies and robbed their houses clean
With the cover of darkness and pirate like intent
They sacked and they pillaged and then off they went
Over the hills into the night without a trace
And no one could keep their insane toucan pace.

The toucans were too mean too strong and too fast
For the average pigeon to catch, then at last
They came back to Pete and desperately begged
“Please try and catch them and find where they’ve led
Our children, our money, our whole pigeon lives”
Said a motherly pigeon with tears in her eyes.
“Why should I help you you’ve been so mean to me?
I don’t care if your kids die” He said to she

“All you do is persecute my pants and single leg
Until you need a speedy pigeon then you come and beg
But I will save your children from those evil farts
If you promise to love me for what’s inside my heart”
So Pete speed off to kick some toucan can
Caught them and killed them and used their feathers for a fan.
He returned all the babies back to street twenty nine
Where they never made fun of Pete for all time