Almost Rich

On Monday
I won the lottery.
Called every one I knew
Told them I was rich.
Five other people
Won my same lottery
But I didn’t care I still won.

On Tuesday
I resigned from Wendy's.
I informed them that my life
Had taken a unexpected turn
Toward the aristocratic,
And I could no longer fulfill my duties
As assistant fry cook
In charge of spicy chicken
And customer relations.

On Wednesday
I went out to the bar.
They all knew I was rich and
So I bought a round
Or two
Or three
I can’t remember.

On Thursday
My Girlfriend kicked me out
Of her apartment
Because I quit my job at Wendy’s.
She called me a failure
So I didn’t tell her that I was rich now.
I stole her remote control
And decided to become a bum.

On Friday
I found a cardboard box
And decided that if I was going to be a bum
I was going to be a successful bum.
The kind with notoriety.
All the good bums I could think of
Lived next to Liquor stores.
So that’s where I put my box.

On Saturday
I tried my best at bumming
I rattled my can just right.
But I got too close to a bag lady.
I told her she didn’t know who
She was messing with
That I was rich.
She just hit me with her trash bag of cans
And told me to find a new corner.

On Sunday
I fell asleep outside this church.
The preacher man seemed to think
Jesus could help.
So I told him my secret.
That I was a rich man
And only bumming to prove to my girlfriend
That I wasn’t a failure.
He laughed and told me
Jesus was right about one thing
Being a rich man is hard.